As I enter week 15 of an 18 week training program, I am at that stage where it has been going on long enough that I am feeling confident, but at the same time having a day here and there when I am just sick of it. Yesterday was a 16 mile run, which went fine, but today I had a measly three miler that felt boring and difficult. I have not been sleeping well and was just plain tired. I read in my Hal Higdon marathon book that this stage can be tough, especially as your high mileage diet requirements become more complicated in terms of maintaining glycogen stores and taking in the right amount of carbs and protein. The book also said your body can start to fatigue and even sleeplessness can result from overstress, even if it seems you are just following the plan. I don’t think I am overtraining, but I suppose it is possible. I have been having trouble sleeping, but I assumed that was related to the pain around losing a friend last week. Truth be told, it is probably a combination of things, from a hairy project deadline, grief, and where I am in the training program.
This is also the stage of training where irrational fears related to getting hurt or sick show up, either of which could send weeks of hard work and aspiration down the drain. I use hand sanitizer every five minutes and walk very slowly through parking lots so I don’t trip on a rock or go off a curb wrong and twist my ankle. If I am in my office and don’t have to leave, I take off my shoes and pad around in my socks. The other day I snuck down the hall to the copier, thinking no one would notice me, and ran into our Chief Medical Officer, who looked down and my feet and smiled. Stairs are almost out of the question at this point and I really don’t like to shake hands with people anymore.
The point is, training has been a mental and physical challenge that will come to fruition in five short weeks, and I don’t want anything to sabotage getting to race day. Something very well might end my hopes of doing the race, and this is where the need to reboot comes in. There is nothing I can do about many of the events that could stop the show at this point, so I need to focus on what I can actually do something about or influence.
My own attitude could foul things up if I don’t stay focused on why I set off on this crazy trip to begin with. It is natural to get tired at this stage, but that does not mean I can’t push through it by resetting my frame of reference.
I started this whole effort to challenge myself to do something difficult. I’ve done this before, but it has been five years, so to get back on the trail and do the work holds special meaning for me at this stage in my life. I want my son to see his father as someone challenges himself and swings for the fence every time he gets an at-bat. I want him to see me as a man who takes on goals that bear a cost. I want him to see me cross the finish line. It is not about impressing him or showing off, but about demonstrating how to set a goal and work to achieve it, and how to celebrate when that goal is met.
At this point in the training, where there is fatigue and fear, it is vital for me to go back to why I started this journey and remember to train defensively (not overdoing it, listening to my body). At this stage I can avoid things that can lead to injury and just keep doing what I know yields results, like eating right, getting enough sleep, and not giving in to the temptation to over-train.
Above all, I need to continue to enjoy being outside with friends doing something that brings me life. When a computer no longer understands why it is doing what it is doing or gets scrambled in terms of processing information, a simple fix is to reboot it. I need to reboot my training program and attitude as I move into the final weeks of the effort. I suppose in any area of our lives there is a time where we know we need to reboot. Perhaps it is in a relationship, at work, or in some other area of your life. Where is a reboot needed in your life?
No comments:
Post a Comment